Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
