she was so not down for the gang bang
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
