i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
