i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
