Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
