Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You made out with two different species that night
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
