Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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