We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
