There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
