butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
