woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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