ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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