I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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