the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
