I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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