I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
