i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
