Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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