Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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