haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
