as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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