I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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