You can't motorboat a personality
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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