I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
