you guys were way drunker than both of me
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
