I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He did a backflip because drugs
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
