I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
