just come out here and I will go home with you...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
