I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm determined to sit on that face.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
