As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
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I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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