Sry I called you an 8
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
