sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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