dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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