I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
