i barfeds in our rink
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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