end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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