Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
