Quick, to the slutcave!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
