Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So squirting runs in the family.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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