super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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