What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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