I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
