I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
