real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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