try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
