I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
