Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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