I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
