Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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