He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
