Non-Jews are for practice
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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