honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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