if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
