The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
