My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
