so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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