you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
