a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize