I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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