How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she looked like the before picture.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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